The second best page in the universe

hahaha...check out Rick Mercer's take on Trent!

http://www.cbc.ca/mondayreport/




We've got innertube waterpolo...

I dedicate this thread to Bush misquotes...due to the unbelievable arrogance displayed by Bush tonight
( http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/business/national/8286872.htm ).

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy, but that could change."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." GW Bush, Jr. to Sam Donaldson




Interesting article for all those Passion haters: was this guys repentance genuine? http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Southwest/03/26/passion.confession.ap/index.html




misunderestimate Junior? I don't know how you could?

Wow, you get two great Bush clips in a row!


This is the best 60 seconds you will ever spend...

http://www.moveon.org/censure/caughtonvideo/




I've told you a bazillion times not to exaggerate.

Best internet game EVAR!

http://www.miniclip.com/bushshootout.htm



*bang bang*

"So...what time are you off tonight?"

There's a cheesy line straight from the lips of the main character of some movie or T.V. show, right? Nope. Straight out of my life. More precisely: out of the lips of some crazy old bat tonight at Tim Hortons. Totally made my day, though (yes - even making up for me being a blithering idiot). Kellie was bursting a gut behind the cream machine while this lady gave me an oragamy dog. Best part of the whole story was that my family was sitting in the corner of the store waiting for me to finish my shift (they're on their way to Timmins and then Kirkland Lake).

The idea of spiritual gifts has been mentioned in relation to my last post. So if it gets you guys thinkin at all, then I present the idea that "spiritual gifts should determine one's direction in life". How true is this statement (not at all, a little, always)? Lemme know.

We all know what the Lord requires of us (To do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God - and all that goes with that), but what of careers? I must admit that in my life I have fallen victim to the idea that the only true Christians either became clergy or other "professional" Christians (eg. missionaries). Should a Christian young person think strategically within the society (i.e. becoming a police officer, teacher, or politician)? Or should they think spiritually (i.e. youth pastor, missionary, etc)? Should they even care? Is it true that we should "Love God - then do what you want"? Think about it, then tell me what you think.

I can stand united with the people who wrote this USERS MANUAL. (http://www.funnybox.com/classics/classic.php?rowmax=&id=23). Anyone who has to deal with customers cannot help but believe in the depravity of man. And the stupidity of man. I can only imagine what a Tim Hortons Drive Thru users manual would look like. It'd probably have to be spelled phonetically.

I need to let go of my bitterness towards Timmies customers.



Ever wonder why "phonetically" isn't spelled phonetically?

So I guess al-Qaeda is bombing some more places. (http://www.cbc.ca/stories/2004/03/11/madrid040311). That's really too bad. Good thing we have someone who knows the answer! (http://www.unknownnews.net/apocalypsenow.html). Yes, Jack Van Impe is my hero. I'm really glad that my cat is going to heaven. And my favourite tree. And my car.

And my shoe.

You'd best belize it.

So, I watched Jack Van Impe last night....and he was hilarious. Predicted that Jesus is going to come in 2011. Just like He was going to come in 1998. Ah well...the best part was when he was explaining how your pets are going to make it to heaven. Apparently just our pets, too (not all animals/insects/bacteria); so God's plan of justification for Rover is that he is loved by a person. I'm confused, I'm going to have to buy the $30 video that will explain it to me for 2 hours (shipping is free!). Here's a quote to make your day:

"The Jews said God created the world in 6 days, Genesis 1:31, and He rested on the seventh day, Genesis 2:2. And since a day is like a thousand years, Psalm 90, verse 4, that means the world will go on for 6,000 years and then our Meshia, our Messiah, will come. And Rabbi Blesh said that event is now at the door, the messianic age. The Christians: same thing. In 2 Peter 3:3 it says "Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers saying 'Yeah, where's the promise of His coming? Since our grandparents fell asleep, nothing's changed.'" But he goes on, context, verse 10: "The day of the Lord will come," when? Verse 8, a day is like a thousand years, the thousand years is like a day. After 6,000 years. And that hits, not at 2000, but 2001, so don't wear your white sheets January 1, 2000. You've got another year to go, if you're going to be accurate. Then, I believe, because of calendar changes, it could be anywhere from 2001 to 2012. We don't set a day or an hour, Matthew 24:36, but we believe it's near, even at the door, Matthew 24:33. And please study Matthew 16:28 and Matthew 17:1, after six days Jesus took them up to a mountain and He showed them what it's going to be like when His kingdom arrived on earth, when? After 6 days, 6,000 years. Oh, it's all so near. (Jack Van Impe Show, TBN, December 1, 1999)"

It's all so clear to me now.


All dogs go to heaven.

My manager said this morning that he's going to create a website dedicated to teaching people how to order at Tim Hortons. I informed him that I was way ahead of him. Don't be surprised if you see a licensing system implemented to regulate drive-thru users (conditional on my becoming president of the universe).

Also, a special note for (B)Hutch: we've got the better lids at Timmie's now...you will no doubt be ecstatic.

Sorry for the non-updates...the Warden played around with the wireless router again, so it isn't working. Hopefully we'll get it fixed Monday.

Ya'll have a great weekend!

http://www.shotgunrules.com/
Well, this post isn't born of any angering-yet-humourous incident, but I simply thought I would pass along some more information; this time on transportation etiquette. While this whole site is helpful (and it's book makes a great gift for the elected chauffer in your life), I would like to point out the most important rule in the history of mankind:

The Balk
This rule is applied when you have called Shotgun and are waiting for the doors to be unlocked. If you lift the handle while the doors are being unlocked and therefore cause the Shotgun door to remain locked, then you are "voided" for that ride. At this time Shotgun is available for all of the other passengers to call.

By working to avoid The Balk we can all help to prevent curb-stomping incidents.

A public service announcement from the government of Canada.

Ok, people. It's time for a little lesson in Canadian etiquette. Today a lady cursed me up and down because I served her what she had ordered and paid for at the drive through. The mistake was hers, because she had ordered improperly. Allow me to explain the proper process for obtaining products from a Tim Horton's Drive-Thru:

1. Pull up to the speaker. Turn your radio off. If you are driving a diesel truck, turn your engine off. Put your cell phone call on hold. Know what you want before you pull up to the speaker (it is acceptable to sit in the area in front of the speaker while you make your decision). Wait to be addressed by a Tim Horton's employee.

2. When greeted, begin to relay your order. This is the tricky part, so pay attention. Terms such as "ummm" and "uhhh" should be avoided. Do not give the speaker a run-down of what you will be ordering (there is no "customer is going to order five coffees; please hold" button on the cash register). Speak loudly and clearly. If it becomes obvious that the employee is having trouble hearing you, speak louder (you would not believe the number of people that continue to whisper after being asked to speak up). Order each item seperately, unless they are identical.
For example, when Bob says "Two large double-doubles, please", he is ordering in an acceptable manner. On the other hand, it is not satisfactory for Dave to declare, "Five coffees: 3 large and 2 medium. Two of the large are double cream single sugar. The third large is 3 cream 7 sugar. One of the mediums is single sugar double cream. The other medium is 3 cream and 1 sweetner. Also, two of the coffees are a decaf: the large with 3 cream and 7 sugar and the last medium." Ordering in this manner will earn Dave a curb-stomping.

3. When you have finished giving your order, the employee will try to sell you more products. They do not wish to do this; they are minimum-wage employees being forced by their managers to 'upsell' without commission. It will probably sound like this, "Would you like any fresh muffins or donuts with that today?". Politely decline. Wait to be instructed further by an employee. Do not move your vehicle. Wait for a variation of, "That will be $1.35 at the window, please." If you recieve no indication that you should move your vehicle, then you must remain stopped. Long periods of silence are not licence to proceed to the window. Travelling forward before being instructed to do so will earn you a curb-stomping.

4. Pull away from speaker. When you are fully away from the speaker, get your money ready. See that cement pad in front of the window? That contains a censor that times how long you are at the window. These minimum-wage employees are financially penalized if you are on that pad for longer than 25 seconds. Therefore, you must stop and get your money ready before continuing on to the window.

5. When your money is ready, pull up to the window. Hand your money to the employee in the window. You've been a good person this far, now is your chance to be a really good person and tip this young worker. You are a big boy/girl; you know what you're going to get back in change. If you ordered a large coffee and gave them a Twoonie, then you are going to get 2 quarters, a dime, and a nickel back. Now is your chance to say clearly, "Just give me the quarters." Or, "Don't worry about the change."

6. Having recieved your product, kindly thank your server. Pull quickly away from the window. Remember, the people inside are being penalized financially while you sit there and eat a quarter of your bagel in front of the window.

Further notes on terminology for advanced users:
-A double double is with cream. If you want a "large coffee double double with milk", then you say, "large coffee, 2 milk, 2 sugar".
-Consistenly request the ingredients of your drink in a 'liquid, then solid' format. For example:
"with 3 cream and 1 sugar, please", not "with 1 sugar and 3 cream, puhleese"


With the implementation of these proper drive-thru techniques, together we can all avoid a curb-stomping incident.

"Whelp...see ya" may at first appear to be a good technique. However, upon examination, one may discover that one of the unintended side-effects of the execution of this approach can be the execution of said "one". Yah, things are better than one might have expected.