2004/03/08
Imp is a gimp
So, I watched Jack Van Impe last night....and he was hilarious. Predicted that Jesus is going to come in 2011. Just like He was going to come in 1998. Ah well...the best part was when he was explaining how your pets are going to make it to heaven. Apparently just our pets, too (not all animals/insects/bacteria); so God's plan of justification for Rover is that he is loved by a person. I'm confused, I'm going to have to buy the $30 video that will explain it to me for 2 hours (shipping is free!). Here's a quote to make your day:
"The Jews said God created the world in 6 days, Genesis 1:31, and He rested on the seventh day, Genesis 2:2. And since a day is like a thousand years, Psalm 90, verse 4, that means the world will go on for 6,000 years and then our Meshia, our Messiah, will come. And Rabbi Blesh said that event is now at the door, the messianic age. The Christians: same thing. In 2 Peter 3:3 it says "Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers saying 'Yeah, where's the promise of His coming? Since our grandparents fell asleep, nothing's changed.'" But he goes on, context, verse 10: "The day of the Lord will come," when? Verse 8, a day is like a thousand years, the thousand years is like a day. After 6,000 years. And that hits, not at 2000, but 2001, so don't wear your white sheets January 1, 2000. You've got another year to go, if you're going to be accurate. Then, I believe, because of calendar changes, it could be anywhere from 2001 to 2012. We don't set a day or an hour, Matthew 24:36, but we believe it's near, even at the door, Matthew 24:33. And please study Matthew 16:28 and Matthew 17:1, after six days Jesus took them up to a mountain and He showed them what it's going to be like when His kingdom arrived on earth, when? After 6 days, 6,000 years. Oh, it's all so near. (Jack Van Impe Show, TBN, December 1, 1999)"
It's all so clear to me now.
All dogs go to heaven.
"The Jews said God created the world in 6 days, Genesis 1:31, and He rested on the seventh day, Genesis 2:2. And since a day is like a thousand years, Psalm 90, verse 4, that means the world will go on for 6,000 years and then our Meshia, our Messiah, will come. And Rabbi Blesh said that event is now at the door, the messianic age. The Christians: same thing. In 2 Peter 3:3 it says "Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers saying 'Yeah, where's the promise of His coming? Since our grandparents fell asleep, nothing's changed.'" But he goes on, context, verse 10: "The day of the Lord will come," when? Verse 8, a day is like a thousand years, the thousand years is like a day. After 6,000 years. And that hits, not at 2000, but 2001, so don't wear your white sheets January 1, 2000. You've got another year to go, if you're going to be accurate. Then, I believe, because of calendar changes, it could be anywhere from 2001 to 2012. We don't set a day or an hour, Matthew 24:36, but we believe it's near, even at the door, Matthew 24:33. And please study Matthew 16:28 and Matthew 17:1, after six days Jesus took them up to a mountain and He showed them what it's going to be like when His kingdom arrived on earth, when? After 6 days, 6,000 years. Oh, it's all so near. (Jack Van Impe Show, TBN, December 1, 1999)"
It's all so clear to me now.
All dogs go to heaven.
# posted by Justin @ 23:38 
